4 for 4
Disclaimer: I’m not talking about the Wendy’s 4 for 4 so if that’s what you came here for, I apologize in advance.
It’s been almost 4 years to the date since I took my (volleyball) jersey off for the last time. I feel like it was last week, but also somehow 10 years ago. I’ve learned and grown a lot on this side of things. I’ve condensed these 4 years of life down into 4 main takeaways (I could have done 40) that I hope will encourage others, whether you’ve been out for 14 years or 4 days. Let’s get to it.
No one knows what they’re doing.
It’s funny because in your early 20’s it looks like everyone else has it all together. That everyone else has it all figured out, and you’re the only one who doesn’t. If anyone tells you they’ve figured it out by now...they’re probably lying. It’s just a silly time in life because we’re all trying to figure out if we want to use the degree we just spent years working for, or if we want to go rogue and do something that didn’t even exist 4 years ago. As if having to figure out what you want for dinner every night isn’t hard enough. What a time to be alive!
Everyone’s post-athlete path is different.
It’s weird because you grow up with people for ~4 years. You literally all have the same schedules, you see each other everyday, you know more than you thought possible about these random people from all over that your coach brought together. You literally couldn’t get away from them if you tried. You do everything together for years. Then…you don’t. All of a sudden you’re scattered across different parts of the world on different paths. It’s cool I guess, but it’s just straight weird for a while.
The most ironic thing about it is these are the people we tend to compare our lives to the most. Naturally, it makes sense because these are the people you lived the same life with for years, and it’s hard to see everyone doing their own thing. Hear me out: do your very best to support and cheer one another on, and try not to compare, it won’t do anyone any good. Trust me. They’re just as proud of you as you are of them, no matter how different your current paths may be. Stay in touch and check on one another often, we could all use that.
Being a college athlete may not be who you are anymore, but it’s still a huge part of who you are.
It’s okay to miss it and reminisce on those years, I actually encourage that, but I’ve found that it’s not okay to get stuck there. You’ll miss out on too much on this side of life if your mind is continuously stuck in this time period. Believe me, I revisit those 4 years pretty much daily (thanks Snapchat memories), and even though most of my memories are good and make me smile - I’ve learned that it can still be hard on me emotionally to spend too much time there. It becomes dangerous when you convince yourself that was as good as it gets, because that’s just not true or fair to your current life. I will say I’ve found there’s nothing better than when you and your teammates reunite and lose track of time retelling stories and “remember when’s.” That’s such a beautiful thing.
Instead of just dwelling in the past, take the memories and all the lessons learned and apply them to your current life. Appreciate all of those times and who they made you, both the good and bad. You learned and grew a lot more than you think in that time period, use it to your advantage in the outside world. To name a few, you have self discipline that’s hard to find, time management skills, a team-oriented mindset, and work ethic. The application of these skills may look different than it used to, but tapping into these gives you an edge in your everyday life that others don’t have. Don’t let these skills go to waste!
It takes time to figure out who you are and what your true passions are outside of sport.
It’s gonna take time. I can’t stress that enough. Especially if your sport was your entire world. The best thing you can do for yourself is to allow the necessary time to figure it out. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have it all together within a year (or whatever your silly made up time line is). It takes time from a figuring out what you want to do with your life perspective, but it takes even more time from a figuring out who you really are and what matters to you. To identify where you want to spend your time and energy, and who you want to spend it on. It all goes together honestly, and it’s always evolving.
From your career to your workout schedule - it all takes time. And it will constantly change. It’ll be pretty frustrating at times. The best advice I can give on this is to ride it out. Just go with the ebbs and flows. It all gets better with time, but you’ll still have days where you almost have a pit in your stomach from the desire to compete again. That’s normal. Appreciate the days where it feels easier, and be patient on the hard ones.Take the time stamp off and allow yourself the necessary time and room to grow as you go, and you’ll find yourself still finding yourself in year four.
You are who you are today because of your time as an athlete, but being an athlete was never all that you were.
