Did you know that we could all do the exact same workouts and eat the same foods, but we would all still look different? What if I told you that you can watch an influencer’s “full day of eating” and spin your wheels trying to replicate it, but you still wouldn’t look the way they do. Would you still want to eat that way? I didn’t think so. Each person’s body is able to keep them alive and breathing, but each one is going about it in various ways which are special to meet the exact needs of their body. That’s a crazy concept to me, but it’s also super cool if you think about it. We all have a different metabolism, different resting energy expenditure rates, different genetics, and our body’s simply function differently. No one else’s body looks identical to yours, which is what makes you unique. Despite all of this, why do we all desire to look like that other person who we’ve identified as our #bodygoals?
I am all for having goals, working to improve your body, and becoming the healthiest/strongest version of yourself. Actually, I encourage that and think it’s important to want to better yourself. At the same time, I have spent most of my life chasing a certain body aesthetic, yet always coming up short. I came up short because the “ideal body type” is ALWAYS changing. It’s impossible to achieve something that doesn’t exist. I convinced myself that my happiness would be fulfilled once I looked a certain way. I’ve had thoughts like, “if only I could get the fat off the sides of my thighs” or “I’ve got to get rid of the excess weight around my abs and lower stomach.” Come to find out, the fat on my thighs is in fact skin to protect what has now turned into muscle, and I’m pretty sure it’s not going anywhere!! I’ve spent so many hours of my life trying to make my abs more visible, because I thought it would make me happier and I would be at the pinnacle of fitness. Ha. The funny thing is, every time I finally reached whatever aesthetic I was striving for, it never made me any happier, and I was probably a worse person due to what I was putting my body through. I always thought that I needed to be the smallest version of myself, but then I heard the phrase “you are allowed to take up space,” and it changed my outlook. I never realized that I was actually convinced I needed to take up as little space as possible in this world, but that was definitely my underlying goal.
Allowing our body type/shape to determine our inner happiness or value will always fail us. I’m still guilty of doing this, and I get so caught up in comparing my current body to what I used to look like or what I think I should strive to look like. But here’s the kicker, I am happier and healthier now than I was when I weighed less and had that cute 6 pack I wanted so badly. I believe there is still greater joy and confidence to be reached in my life, but I no longer think that I’ll find it by shedding the excess ~fat~ on my thighs. I still workout regularly, because I love the way it makes me feel and it’s my escape, not because I’m trying to find my happiness in the gym. The time we spend hating on our bodies is time we will never get back. It’s simply wasted time. Working out and improving your nutrition is a great way to feel more confident and comfortable in your own skin, and it’s not always about aesthetic changes. It’s perfectly normal to have goals for your own body, but it’s important to figure out if you’re trying to become a better version of yourself, or a duplicate version of someone who already exists.
The diet industry makes $72 billion per year, and they do so by profiting off of our insecurities. If that’s not messed up, I don’t know what is. It makes me want to love my body even more just to keep them from profiting off of the things we view as our flaws that make us more vulnerable to their marketing. While we’re at it, can we stop commenting “skinny” on other girl’s pictures?? A woman can look skinny in a picture, but you have no idea what’s actually going on in her life, or how she achieved this “skinny” bod that we put on a pedestal. Let’s stop praising people for how much they weigh, and start commenting on what you love about who they are inside.
It’s not realistic to expect yourself to wake up every morning feeling overwhelmed with love for every inch of your physical appearance. Some days will be easier than others, but what we can do is grow to genuinely like and appreciate our bodies for blessing us with another day’s opportunity to chose self love. You are just as valuable in this moment as you will be when you reach your #bodygoals.