Pen to Paper
If I’m being honest, I have told y’all far too much about me. More than you probably ever cared to know, but I don’t regret it. I’ve also realized that I have shared my heart and deepest struggles here, but that’s where I have left things. I feel like I could keep going on and on about my experiences and stories from my career and life, and I’ll continue to share those, but for now I think I need to go another direction.
Many people have told me that they relate to the words I’ve written, and I am grateful to know that there are people out there who are feeling seen and heard, but to me that’s not enough. I want to help encourage and guide people out of this stagnant place of “relating,” and into a life of taking action. For a long time I felt like I was just sitting in the bleachers, watching others live their journeys out of disordered eating, into positive body image, etc. I was engulfing myself in all of these topics, reading and learning about how to gain this freedom I longed to have, but never taking it any further. When I finally decided that I deserved to get in the game myself is when things changed for me. If you’re reading this, I firmly believe it’s because you desire to overcome the lies in your head, and take hold of the negative thoughts that you’ve maybe let control you for too long. And I believe you deserve that.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again-I am not a professional. I am simply someone who has been there and has experienced everything that I write about. I also haven’t mastered the art of overcoming all of this by any means, but I sure have come a long ways over the past few years, and I’m going to start sharing the things that I have been practicing and implementing in my own life to do so. I’ll try to spread these out over a couple entries, because I want to go as in depth as possible with each of them. I also want to give time to put each idea into practice, rather than coming in hot with multiple ideas at once which obviously can’t all be implemented in one day. Rome wasn’t built in a day, ya feel?
As I have referenced in just about every post, I have a journal (which I have found is really just the grown up word for a diary). I’ve been a faithful journaler for many, many years. Honestly, I was an OG with the password journal back in the day. I would kill to find mine and read what was so important that my 8 year old self needed a password to keep secure. Anyway, I started writing in high school, but not as consistently as I did in college. My entries were pretty off and on for a couple of years, and there’s spans of about 5 months where I didn’t write a single thing so it’s basically like it didn’t happen. Ever since the second half of my senior year, I have most of my life accounted for, and I have found the process to be liberating. Both the act of writing itself, as well as going back every now and then to read what I wrote. Truthfully, I think this is what has helped me the most. I know it might sound silly, but allow me to explain why this simple practice has benefited my life so much.
The thing about journaling is that it doesn’t have to be a lot, and it doesn’t have to be profound. There is no minimum word count, and no spell check. Just write. Writing can be a way to vent and let your feelings out without telling anyone (not that you shouldn’t tell anyone, but just in case you might not be ready to share with another person). You can write about anything, and you have permission to say anything you want. No one is going to see it, unless you choose to share, and you’re not turning it it in for a grade, unless you also choose to do that. After all, it is your journal and I can’t tell you what to do with it. I also can’t tell you how to write or what to write about, but I can give a couple of ideas to help you get the process started.
Here are a couple prompts to write about:
Write about your day. The best parts, and the worst.
Write when you’re having a bad body image day, or negative thoughts about yourself. Write down what you are feeling, why you’re feeling that way, and what will help you overcome those thoughts and feelings. Sometimes in doing this, you’ll see that it’s all in your head, and the way you’re seeing yourself isn’t your reality.
While bringing attention to all those hard, usually negative feelings is important for healing, I’ve also found it beneficial to write a few good things about my body next to all the bad I’ve listed. No matter how you’re feeling towards your body, it did get you through yet another day and deserves some love and credit for all of the things it does for you even while hating on it. Try to counter the negatives with a few positives.
Write when you’re having a good body image day, and you’re feeling like a 10/10. For the same reasons I gave above, it’s important to acknowledge what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that way, and what will help you feel that way more often. I know this can sound like a conceded thing to do, but isn’t this the goal? To love our bodies and feel strong and confident in them? It’s important to recognize what went into you feeling like the queen (or king) that you are, and it helps you notice what helped cultivate this state for you. It’s also neat to refer to on a day where you might be struggling, to figure out how to get back to that place of self love.
Write when you made a step (forwards or backwards) in your progress towards healing whatever you’re going through. This could be you food choices, for example choosing to eat a snack before bedtime instead of going to bed starving because you don’t usually allow yourself to eat after a certain hour, or eating ice cream instead of choosing to restrict. It could also be choosing to workout when you didn’t feel like it, or choosing to rest when you felt like you needed to.
Write about the people in your life. The people you are thankful for, the ones you couldn’t live without. Write what they mean to you, and what they do for your life. This may seem unrelated to all the other issues I’ve discussed, but it’s always encouraging to remind yourself that you have people in your corner and people who care about you.
If you’re ready, maybe even start to identify that one person, or a few people, who you would feel comfortable confiding in about the struggles you’re facing, and ask them to help hold you accountable. This was a huge step for me, as I realized that saying it out loud is relieving and also allows other people to step in the fight with you instead of trying to do it alone.
As I said, these are just a few ideas to help you get started or to keep you going. I can’t encourage you enough to just try it out, and if you absolutely hate writing, or try it and find that it doesn’t do anything for you, maybe I’ll discuss another practice that is more beneficial for you next time. Personally, I could write for hours on end, but I’ll wrap it up so you can get to writing on your own. Happy journaling!!!