Recently I was going through the files on my computer, because what else was I supposed to do with all of my spare time during quarantine? I came across a document that stopped me in my tracks and left me speechless when I realized the words it contained. It was something I vividly remember writing after getting home from an off-season volleyball workout on March 13th, 2018. I hadn't touched it or re-read it since that day, but reading it almost 2 years later absolutely shook me, and took me back to this day. It is actually what inspired me to put the long time thought of a blog into action, because I finally felt like it was time for me to share this message. I have not touched these words, and didn't edit any mistakes so that it would remain as raw and genuine as possible. I plan on talking about this topic a lot more in depth, but for now I think this is a good place begin.
Here's the original, unedited writing that I've copied and pasted:
"Yes, I am just a DII collegiate athlete, but I am still a collegiate athlete. I can say with confidence that over 75% of us who fall under this title are currently experiencing or have previously struggled with the very issue I am about to discuss. The issue is body image. While every girl in the twenty first century struggles with the body image issue, I feel very strongly that it is different for college athletes, especially females. Being a girl is enough pressure and work in the first place, now we have to add the pressure given to us in from those involved in our particular craft. This can add a large amount of weight, both physically and mentally that is. This is something that has been on my heart for the past year now, and I want to address it because I know I cannot be the only one.
Picture this, you have just completed a 3-hour practice filled with weights, conditioning, and the addition of your sport. After reaching the locker room, the first thing you do is log onto Instagram, only to be greeted by endless posts from instamodels; some fitness related, some stuntin in a bikini at the beach, and most of them you’ve never even had a face to face encounter with. Before you know it, you’ve been scrolling for ten minutes and have subconsciously accumulated numerous thoughts comparing your body to the bodies of Instagram. We have convinced ourselves that we don’t look quite enough like them, so we should probably skip dinner or only eat a small portion, because that’s how you get a body like that, right? Wrong. Our bodies have just endured intensities those bodies could never survive, and its time we start feeding them like it. In order to allow ourselves to achieve max performance, we must first obtain max fueling for our bodies. We all know good and well that skipping a post workout meal won’t make you skinny or give you a six pack, it will just make you hangry.
The average female collegiate athlete should typically consume 3,500 kcal per day. The average Instagram model is not even consuming half that amount. Not only are we built differently, we are training for a different purpose. We are training for the purpose of something greater than ourselves and greater than how many likes we can get. We are training for the teammates that you go to battle next to and grind with everyday. This is bigger than yourself, bigger than how many likes being “fit” can get you. There is nothing wrong with working out to look good and be confident in your own skin, but there is something wrong when that becomes all it is about. There is a fine line between the two, and I’ll be the first to admit I am still struggling to find it. In writing this, I am not trying to give the impression that I have the whole body image thing figured out and this doesn’t apply to me. I am writing this because this is me to the core. This is what subconsciously goes through my mind every hour of every day, and I have a feeling I’m not alone."