Howdy! I am a (proud) born and bred Texan. I went on to spend my college years in Arkansas, and now find myself calling Florida home. I’m one of the most sarcastic people alive, and dad jokes/humor are my go-to response to just about everything. I am a Christian who has been redeemed, and am striving to glorify God through all I do.
There are years and years of thoughts and struggles I’ve never felt confident enough to share with anyone other than my journal, but recently I’ve felt called to break my silence. I have a feeling most people are shocked by reading that last sentence, because I don’t imagine I’m someone who gives off the journaling vibe. I am very outgoing and talkative, but there are many truths about me that I’ve never shared, out of fear of seeming weak. I’m nervous to bring my thoughts online, because as an enneagram 3, vulnerability isn’t my strong suit.
I played college volleyball for four years at Harding University, and would give anything to do it all again. During my career I found quite a bit of success on the court, and unfortunately I found all of my worth and value there as well. I let my achievements and accolades fuel me and control my entire life to such an extent that I didn’t realize how crippling it was until months following the final match point. When my career ended, I lost every ounce of my identity and self worth that I spent 22 years creating, and I’ve been trying to re-define myself since that November day in 2018.
Health and fitness have always been a huge part in my life, which is what led me to get a BS in Nutrition & Dietetics. For as long as I can remember, my life has revolved around working out, which is good…but also dangerous. Similar to my volleyball career, I have subconsciously based my value and self worth on how I look, the workouts I put myself through, and how often I workout. Ever since I realized this was an issue in my life, I’ve been focusing on using exercise as an outlet and a way to feel my best, rather than to punish myself. I’ve struggled with disordered eating and body dysmorphia for longer than I’d like to admit, and I am still working on improving both of those issues. Being a collegiate athlete didn’t help either of these, in fact, it’s actually when both of these struggles were illuminated the most (I have lots to say on that topic, but I’ll save it for later).
I’m currently a graduate assistant volleyball coach at the University of West Florida, and am pursuing a masters in Public Health. I still have so much to learn about life in general, but also in terms of health and fitness. I want to use my past experiences and current struggles to help whoever may come across this blog, even if just one person reads this (hi mom). I am going to do my best to be vulnerable and speak on here the same way I would in my journal, as I work on healing my own relationship with food and exercise as well. I am breaking my streak of silence on all of these topics, because I’m confident there’s at least one person who will relate, and I want you to know that you’re not alone.